About journeynurse

Weird and wonderful spirtual journeys of a respiratory nurse!

I challenge you to a dance off

Since the beginning of human existence, dancing will have occurred. Not only now is it a pastime, a career, exercise and a social ideology in clubs – but it is also a way to invoke spirit into trance.

Now dance is good for all, we know this right? It makes the heart work faster burning off calories and fat, it allows the muscles to work and expand. It also scientifically releases a combination of chemicals in the brain, aka – DOSE:

  • Dopamine
  • Oxytocin
  • Serotonin
  • Endorphins

All of which cause a ‘high effect’ on the individual who is dancing, and also its loads of fun! It reduces anxiety, depression and even reduces the risk of dementia and parkinsons! In the recent years there is also now masters degrees and diplomas in dance science; this is the framework and ideology behind particular movements and training to aid ultimate wellbeing and biomechanics! So thats the body and mind sorted! So where does the soul come into this?

So shaman all around the world believe in dancing and using movements to instigate trance like conditions, not only this, but dance is a way of communicating with spirit and power animals! I know when I’ve been dancing and I am tuned into my higher self I am able to channel my power animal; this results in different movements, almost like I’m being taken over – the feelings are exhilarating! The shaman believe that by dancing you are able to invoke and invite spirit to join you, this is usually to the sound of tribal rhythms, rattles, drumming, nature sounds and world music! Michael Harner also stipulates that by not practising dance and exercising your power animal, it can cause them to leave and results in a weaker connection to you.

When dancing to such beats, its hard to imagine that you could go into a trancelike state, yet those who journey often find themselves moving into an altered state of consciousness instead of ordinary reality, here a shaman may discover guidance, wisdom or even empowerment from spirit or creators. Although people may not feel they want to dance, or even they can dance, this is something that has been deeply rooted in our inner psyche from our ancestors, we carry it in our DNA – we just need to implore, explore and create together ❤

In sorrow or grace?

Today is a day of anger, hurt and emotion. Not for any particular reason, other than my body feels this way. Although this ‘temple’ of mine has suffered at not only my own hands, but hands of others through my short lived thirty years, today is a day of reflection – feeling a day of reckoning. My trauma knows no bounds today, and I dare say that is normal for any person who has been through trauma is it not? Or anyone indeed living at all. We are all human, and we all have good days. For when you’re at your highest, where else is there to go but down?

My topic over the past few days has been soul retrieval, how? why? when? So many questions. I firmly believe part of my soul was scared away as a young child, and again later in life when my PTSD took a hold onto me. Although the theoretical ideology of souls has yet to surface in the world of science, I am a firm believer in the fact each one of us is energy. Now this energy that we all have inside us or ‘soul’ if you will, has the capacity to soar throughout our lifespan! This would be amazing wouldn’t it? Yet some of us do not have this pleasure, we lose part of our soul throughany traumatic event, this can be part or full soul. Many people feel this when they lose a loved one, and often state so themselves ‘Part of me went with them when they died’. In psychiatric terms this can be symptomatic of numbness, depression, and disassociation – to which unfortunately in 2020, mental health has such high precedence in our lives.

In my experience, I know part of my soul is lost in the abyss somewhere, and I have contacted shamans to retrieve this for me. Throughout many shamanic cultures, there are many different ways to do a soul retrieval; yet they all narrow down to the one point, to retrieve and allow someone to heal from this trauma, to beckon to that broken part and make someone whole again. Whilst many western traditions are to go to the doctor and to be ‘healed’ through medication, many shaman believe that soul loss – whether full or part could be the cause for many physiological disease and ailments. Many diseases are known to have some form of psychosomatic effect in this day and age due to the continuous stressors and pressures in everyday life, yet if a person was to truly reflect, meditate and connect with Pachamama, they would find that the answers they need are often reflected inside of them. However, it must be noted that this is not instead of recieving medical advice.

Soul retrieval is not a quick fix, nor is it a fix at all for some. But for those of us who have experienced trauma on any level, it can aid our vessel and being become whole. It is natural for us all to have our ups and downs, and today is just a reflection of that! Yet we strive for more, and long for the good days. So my question to myself is this, is my partitioned soul sorrowful or a grace?

For me personally, this has been a grace. The resillience I have and face, the love, empathy and passion I have for others and animals knows no bounds (when I have a good day haha). Yet people do not understand or comprehend why I hold no anger or malice towards those who have caused my trauma – for hear it now, I am the strongest and most corageous woman I know, I have got this and today is just a blip! I will continue this fight. This continous warrior stance becomes tiring, and these are the days one must look back on and realise the sun will still rise tomorrow, the moon will still be there waiting when I look at the nights sky tonight. I am blessed.

I ask that anyone who has that big black dog on their shoulder, that grey cloud above, or anyone experiencing hardship to contact your local mental health team. Be it the samaritans, or even just talk to a friend or doctor. We are all in this together, and none of us are getting out of this alive, so why not enjoy our time together and be soul energy together?

Power animal

Journeying to the lower world has never been an issue for me. I gather my thoughts in my power place, red rock everywhere – my past life. My connection here is beyond natural, its beyond love, its home. I feel the dirt in between my toes, the birds of prey hunting overhead. The heat. My god the heat blaring on my skin, the sensations of being there are so real.

I journey down a red rock staircase, only its more like climbing down cliffs and rock climbing then stairs, cave paintings and fire lighting surround me. I get to the bottom and through an opening to find another bank and a massive tree at the bottom, two mass trunks intertwining with one another. Three openings are present, one in the roots of the tree, one midline and fireflies surround the canopy of the tree, very aware of another opening there.

I go to climb into the roots to meet Sabius, my power animal when I slide down instead. When first meeting my black panther friend, I was so nervous as to what I was to find, was this meant to happen? I feel so deep in my trance like state I am fully aware my breathing has slowed right down, my heart rate slowing also. My nursing kicks in, count your resps, wake up, youre going too far in, you will go into respiratory arrest, then cardiac arrest and only 13% of those survive if CPR is effective! The trance like state didn’t last too long, I felt big yellow eyes staring at me from a tree, and in a big mighty voice I feel his power. The respect I had for this creature was greater then any man, woman or child I know.

I am the gatekeeper, and I am your gatekeeper.

I first travelled here over one year ago now, and have travelled here many times since. I have had animals allocated to me to learn from, I have had sabius take me on vivid journeys where I have bare witness to other peoples deaths and been able to research these and track their locations. This panther is not just part of a journey, he is part of me – my best part.

Flower Essences

Hahnemann discovered Homeopathy in 1790, to which flower essences are categorised as. Although all parts of flowers have been used for centuries, it was Dr Edward Bach who released the conceptual ideology of flower essences to the general public; not only were these provided orally, but through topical application also to remedy the soul and physical ailments – some with immediate effect.

Although I am a mere amateur when it comes to flower essences, I have began my work with the beautiful and soulful Devas of both Lily and Chrysanthemum. When connecting with the Lillies, I meditated with these on a physical and spiritual level, immediately I felt connected, loved and pure. I also connected with the Devas who informed me of the words “lymph nodes”, although these are normally used for feminity, sensuality and in a soulful nature, I found information on the ideology of aiding inflammation in the body also.

The next Devas I was to connect with was the flower Chrysanthemum, these white flowers are a flower I see often up in Yorkshire, in gardens, flower shops, bouquets! So today I took some clippings of some I had and felt that this particular day I was ready to connect. When connecting, the sun was blazing down, I could feel it entering my soul. I felt relaxed and peaceful, no chaos was present in my being, I knew I would be really excited to work with this flower, I felt the pull to my third eye and crown chakras; knowing this flower could really benefit me and my soul!

Within Japan, the Chysanthemum ‘Kiku’ is the flower that is a representation symbol of the imperial family and also the emperor seal. Festivals for this beautiful flower have been around since this flower was first discovered around the fifteen century! Not only does this flower have beauty to it, but in Japan, the 9th September is a dedicated Chrysanthemum day. The flower essence itself is associated with spiritual alignment, overcoming fear of death, rejuvination and aiding mental health. What more could you want eh? Although these are trial essences for myself personally, I already feel more wholesome with the Lily essence, and feel my feminity growing after a couple of weeks – placebo or not, my womanhood is blossoming.

These flower essences are very close to home at the minute, not just for me, but for those closest to me – I will always be here to aid souls and the health and wellbeing of all. For that is what the soul of a nurse and soul healer is right?

New Moon

Another new moon, another ritualistic night of love, intention and letting go of what no longer serves me; as a nurse this bodes well as I have the ability to reflect and collaborate with my higher self to make me and my soul more enhanced. With this broken neck, I’m finding difficulty in staying still. Yet, I am beginning to appreciate the ideology of slowing down – which is really hard when you are used to living your life like Wiley Coyote!

This time is all about cleansing and letting go, I have been conducting card readings for myself and my soul tribe; asking my guides and power animals to step in and allow messages to flow for the greater good. The house is cleansed and smudged and ready for new beginnings for the coming month! My gratitude has been shown on here through poetry and love and light for the life I lead now – cracks and all.

Today is a day of setting new intention! So a day of vision boards, sipping home brewed teas, reminiscing with friends, and blasting off them cobwebs with the wind! One main aspect I would like to do is set a daily ritual for myself through my cards! I used to do card of the day for wisdom and clarity on what to expect or what to bring forth in my day or ordinary chaos! It seems this too has slid, therefore despite having a mere yet refreshing 90 minutes sleep, I think what better days to start (and hope to keep) a new yet old ritual!

Gratiroots

Photo by Snapwire on Pexels.com
Our universe is broken when it hurls us like a shot in the dark,
But through the chaos and mayhem - I hear you this ain't no walk in the park,
But in each smile we see and in each tear we cry,
We must find our gratitude before our life dies,
For the powers above and below will once speak,
This time, in this life we will reach our peak,
And you may feel like you cannot progress anymore,
But our soul has lessons to teach evermore,
This is just a stepping stone, so reach out your hand,
Plant those feet and those roots into mothers sacred land,
For her pulse is throbbing, her love everlast,
If only we tune in, it'll bring us back and fast,
For the chaos, media and mayhem is ordinary reality,
But through wisdom and ancient ways we find we are free,
I am the blood in my veins, I am the seeds in the wind,
I am our ancestors chains, I am the animals skinned
I am our grandmothers love, I am the roots in the dark
I am innocence or deprived of, I am the blood to the shark,
I am our mothers bond, I am the powers above,
I am the life we have spawned, I am what Pachamama loves,
I am the gratitude from before and gratitude to come,
I am the soul who calls to you and asks you to become one,
For I am Gratiroots - my gratitude rooted in,
I am loved by the universe, no matter what path I pin.

The wounded healer

As stated by Arvick Baghramian in her 2015 book the magic of shamanism, those who have recognised, acknowledged and lived through peril have great ability to become healers themselves due to their adept empathy. This rings true to home; abuse, accidents, betrayal, mental health – all are an non exhaustive list of the tides of peril within my past and current life. My soul itching to be healed and to heal my ancestors, soul family those in similar situations.

Having signed up to healing courses and shamanic courses I am at the beginning of a beautiful and undirected chapter of my life, it will be bountiful, fruitful and full of love. It will have difficulties and obstacles; but I am woman and I am strong, independent and my very own natural forcefield. And I am proud to be standing today full of empathy and readiness to take on the world today.

May the Creator, Grandmother Moon, Father Sun and Pachamama co-create with me and my soul tribe to create a more tuned and healed world 🌎

The broken neck

So a mere three weeks ago I went for a beautiful walk with my best friend as a good initiative to our mental health, the air was electric; something was truly in the air, mystical and magickal. Although it took us some time climbing up to Wainstones due to our majestic level of fitness.. or lack of, the views were spectacular, you could truly feel the energy up there. Little did I prepare for a broken neck and a decent fall onto some rocks from quite a way up! I think what makes this endeavour so much worse is the prediction I made two hours before my fall. My guides made me feel like I was falling, I was at the top of a rollercoaster about to go down, the butterflies in my tummy made me feel sick – but was it nerves or excitement over what was to come?

At the top me and my best friend had a gorgeous picnic, we could see storms in the distance brewing, the rain cascading down on the surrounding areas – realising that this might hit us at any point, we decided to make our way down. This is where the fall happened, I was sat on a ledge, knowing I couldn’t make the way down, but knew it was my only way. I decided to finally make the jump, and yes, I rolled, tumbled and smacked every rock down. I felt the snap in my neck, my head pulsing from being bashed off two rocks, I remember time stopping at the exact second my neck broke, I remember like a reality screenshot of viewing the world from a new perspective – literally.

Being a nurse I was able to assess my injuries fairly quickly, I knew I had broken something, I knew I was conscious, I knew I was breathing bilaterally and in safe parameters, my arm was turning black quick and we needed to act fast to get me help – for I was conscious for now, but I could become unresponsive in any given moment and Laura would be on her own with a six foot 2 mammoth of a woman to move. Despite this being one of the most scary experiences of my life, I’ve never felt my guides and ancestors come in so strong, the sense and rush of adrenaline kicked in, knowing I had to move quickly they assured me this was not my time to go and I needed to move fast as the storm had started. Air ambulance couldn’t get to us due to the storm, mountain rescue would be some time and the ambulance couldn’t locate us due to being in the middle of nowhere. The horror scene was real, yet I was eerily calm and protected – amazing. I walked roughly 1-2 miles with a broken neck with mountain leaders and good samaritans who we luckily came across – my protectors sent to me.

All in all I ended up with a fracured C7, grade three traumatic wound to my forearm that was black and blue all the way from wrist to shoulder, and grazes and bumps on my head, thighs and legs; I was seriously lucky.

This is not a story of triumph nor courage from any party, this is story of the importance of guides, ancestors and connection to all. Without this I would have easily fallen apart, I am grateful and value my connection more than ever at this moment in time! And obviously my best friend ever – little Meeko, for she was my stronghold in the impossible, my guide through the storm and my light in the tunnel; I love you.

The wonderful world of Sara

Established in 1990, I was brought into the weird and wonderful world by my beautiful parents, my childhood was winding roads, rollercoaster adventures and filled with love that knows no bounds – fortunate, yet oddly traumatic.

I remember looking out of my bedroom on a night as a small child to see the boiler in the hallway. I could see colours generating from the hallway; a silhouette always stood at the top of the stairs so still yet purposeful. Obviously, I thought this was the boogeyman, because they would clearly hang out in this particular spot of Middlesbrough. Not like it would have anything better to do! So I created a teddy army surrounding my bed, this was my protection shield! I look back now and laugh, but as a small child I was clearly experiencing something.

As the years went on my journey into the spiritual realm began to expand. When I was roughly twelve years old, I became obsessed with tarot and witches, I knew I was an old soul. My mum bought me my first set of tarot and although I had no understanding of their purpose, I felt their power and presence; this phase quickly dwindled and became just another anecdote to my venture into the strange and unusual – that would be later picked up at the mere age of 25.

From there I have endorsed my time, patience, love and light into personal self development (because there is no such thing as too much learning! Yes, I am a geek for academia) this was learnt through: meditation, a year and a day, self dedication to the universe and pagan path, psychic development training, and soon to be therapeutic shamanism. Everyday I continue to develop my path through books, journals, conversing with old souls like myself, ritual, and journeying to the lower world.

Another sideline to my life is my nursing career, I love to heal people – as who wouldn’t!? Who wouldn’t want to save those in the world bit by bit and do their part for mother earth! This could be seen as a double edged sword, as not only can we heal Pachamama, but we are also destroying it. To which I find no greater joy than practicing partnering with the Earth through the Devas, the Creator, and through the many channels to aid her progress.

  • One big question for me and myself only, is why am I doing such a blog? This is not for the public views, but for my own personal endevour and to truly show myself how much I have the ability to nurture my soul and grow, to document my journey on a very intimate and intense level. And those who may read this? You are more than welcome! For we are all beings of energy in love and light.

If there is anyone reading this, I thank you for your dedication in reading this so far! For I know how to waffle! I am the waffle Queen!

Love and Light,

Sara